I had a panic attack earlier. I suddenly realized, looking around the room at my grandmothers furniture, that maybe I never properly mourned her death. She was sick, on hospice, so it was no surprise. She was also 92-years-old and had lived a full life. I was with her when she passed, I went through [...]
Archive for the ‘family’ Category
guilt
Posted in family, life or something like it on June 12, 2011 | Leave a Comment »
proud
Posted in family on June 3, 2011 | 2 Comments »
I’m so proud of my high school graduate. Yesterday was the big day. The ceremony was very nice. They had THIRTEEN valedictorians. I’ve never heard of such a thing! With my class there was one. They all gave short little speeches, which were very well composed, some even funny. The principle spoke at length about [...]
confusion
Posted in family, life or something like it on June 1, 2011 | 2 Comments »
I’ve been feeling very blank the last few days. Its like I don’t know exactly what I’m feeling. I’m having trouble coming to terms with my mother being gone. I think the fact that she’d been in the hospital or nursing home for the past six months is messing with me. She hadn’t been here [...]
lost
Posted in family on May 26, 2011 | 2 Comments »
I feel like I have to physically hold onto myself to keep from falling apart. I’ve gotten into this territory where I just feel lost. Like I’m in the middle of a field and don’t know which way to go to get home. Every time I close my eyes I see people giving my mom [...]
loss
Posted in family on May 26, 2011 | 4 Comments »
My mom died tonight. I’d seen her, talked to her, just this afternoon. I asked her how she was feeling but all she said was tired. They went to check on her and found her not breathing. They called 911 and they did everything they could, but she was just gone. I’m hoping she went [...]
so tired
Posted in family, life or something like it on May 6, 2011 | 2 Comments »
The past few days I’ve had no energy. Yesterday I slept nearly all day and then all night. I don’t know if there is something seriously wrong with me or if I’m just reacting to the latest stressors. I’m sniffly, but otherwise I don’t think I’m sick. I think the sniffles are allergies. My mom [...]
Another late night
Posted in family, get thee to the gym, insomnia blogs, life or something like it on May 4, 2011 | Leave a Comment »
I keep falling asleep after dinner, taking a nap much too late. I know that’s contributing to my inability to fall asleep, but its not all of it. Just so many things on my mind lately that I’m restless. My dad is going to have two more chemo treatments. They felt like he’d recovered enough [...]
Monday Monday
Posted in family, life or something like it, ugh on April 19, 2011 | 1 Comment »
My dad had a doctors appointment this morning. Apparently its not a problem that he missed his chemo appointment on Friday. The medicine he’s getting now is not considered a chemo med, its just some sort of blocker. In two weeks the doctor will decide if his last two treatments will be full chemo and [...]
one of those weeks
Posted in family, life or something like it on April 14, 2011 | 2 Comments »
This is turning out to be a somewhat stressful week. I won’t know the full brunt of the stress until sometime tomorrow, though. On Monday I got a call from the nursing home that they’d sent my mom to the hospital (this is a week after she’d gotten out). She couldn’t move her left side. [...]
Rick Scott sucks
Posted in family, life or something like it, Uncategorized on April 8, 2011 | 2 Comments »
I was visiting my mom and watching the 5:00 news with her. Seems our Governor Rick Scott has cut funding to the 15% MOST DISABLED people in the state. These people are now ending up in group homes instead of with their families, because home health nurses can no longer be provided. This brought me [...]
