New Years Eve

According to the clock its the last day of 2012. I wish I could say its been a great year but its had its ups and downs. One definite up was meeting Jon. He gets me out doing things at least. Oh, and my dad being cancer free was good news. I just did my usual sitting around with things to do on my mind and not doing them. Go me.

It turns out we’re going out for New Years. We’re going to Jon’s friends girlfriends place. There’s going to be another couple there too. I really hope I don’t feel too awkward but I’m sure I will. Truth be told, I was kind of liking the idea of just the two of us. I had these elaborate plans. I was going to do what I could to make it special. Hopefully we’ll still have fun though. It will be nice to get out for New Years Eve for once. This leaves Zach stranded at home, but I wouldn’t be surprised if he came up with plans tomorrow.

I hope you all have a good time, whatever it is you’re doing!

25 years

That looks like any old picture, and really, it is. Its a view to the east from my driveway. This is where I watch shuttle launches from. When they first started we were able to watch them from he back yard, but trees have grown and now we have to go out front, which is where the neighbors are too.

I didn’t live here when Challenger exploded. I was in fifth grade in Alabama. We were learning a lot about space that year, and our teacher had us in the Young Astronauts program. Shuttle launches were always a big deal to her, and we watched every one. That day we had a substitute who didn’t know to put the shuttle launch on. We got to lunch and other kids were telling us what happened. We thought they were kidding. The substitute must have gotten word during lunch as well because when we got back to the room the tv was turned on so we could see the news. It was surreal. Things like that weren’t supposed to happen in my 11-year-old world. NASA was perfect and the shuttles were super. They weren’t suppose to blow up. I think we talked about it a bit for the rest of the afternoon, but it still just seems so unreal in my mind. It still does.

Like many have said, that’s my generations JFK.

visually impaired

No, this is not about wearing glasses, though I do. I’m thinking I’d like to try contacts again though. Moving on.

My pictures are boring. They lack vision and interest. I thought that doing 365 would help with that. Then again, I’m only 21 days into it, so maybe there’s still room for improvement. But really look at today’s picture.

My cat. Again.

And yesterday? Guinea pigs.

I’m going to be that person who takes 365 pictures of her pets and other random objects. Without making them interesting in any way! I don’t think that’s the point. Ok, I’m rambling the same thing over and over now. (Also, looking at the color difference, you can see I’m still mastering the camera)

My point is, I want to learn to take interesting pictures. Pictures that people see and say “oh, I like that. That’s interesting.” So since my life in general is so dull and sheltered, I guess I’m going to have to come up with ways to take pictures of mundane things in interesting ways. Should be interesting to see if I succeed or fall on my face.

Otherwise its just Friday. My mom’s stay in the hospital was brief. She had the procedure on her fistula and dialysis yesterday, and they sent her back to the nursing home at 5am. She was pretty tired when I went to see her this afternoon. My dad had a PET scan this past Wednesday, and we’ll find out the results this coming Tuesday. I’m already tired of driving to MD Anderson and back.

Hope you all have a lovely Friday evening.

new way of seeing

I ordered a 60mm macro lens for my camera. It came today.

Holy schnitzel I was not prepared for the power of the macro lens. I’m used to taking macro shots with a regular lens, and getting really close to the subject. I load up this baby, get next to an ivy leaf, and I’m seeing all the veins that run through part of the leaf. I don’t have to get that close to a subject to get a close up picture! I am impressed. Look at that kitty nose. Can’t you just imagine what it feels like to scritch that nose? So be prepared, if you’re following this blog or my 365 on Twitter. The next few days are probably going to macro shots while I play with the new lens, because I love macro shots.

What are your favorite kinds of pictures to take, or your favorite subject?


a sunday in january

Its just like any other Sunday I suppose. Did laundry and not much else. Took a picture.

I’m a little worried. I’m only nine days into 365 and I’m already struggling with what to take a picture of. Today I took a picture of a keychain hanging with some necklaces and stuff. Pretty soon I’m going to be taking pictures of the ground.

Maybe my life just isn’t interesting enough for 365 days of pictures. Could I find 365 objects to photograph, I’m sure I could, but is that interesting enough? And why am I suddenly so worried about being interesting? I think its because I had a dream last night that I ran into my English professor from college. He was always stressing that we add details to make it interesting, so today I’m worried about being interesting. Artsy Fartsy interesting. Shmantsy pantsy. All that jazz. Ok, I’ve run out. I’m tired. Maybe its time to sleep and try to be interesting tomorrow.

greetings, 2011

So its time for a new calendar. This year ┬ápicked lighthouses. I’ve never actually seen a lighthouse in person (or is that in building). Maybe I should try to day trip up to St. Augustine to see the haunted one.

I’m going to try to take a picture every day. I figure that’s a good way to learn my new camera, and its something I’ve always been meaning to do. I thought about starting a photo blog, but I’ve already got two, what with this one and the knitting one. Plus I can’t come up with a good name that’s already taken. I’ll probably end up doing a round up once a week or so of pictures I’ve taken here, along with posting to flickr.

I did nothing for new years eve. I was asleep before midnight. I’ve got this theory that if I sleep through the hoopla, I can just get up and start the new year like a brand new day, which is what it really is. It just happens to be a good starting point for things too.

the last day of the year

So, aren’t we supposed to do some year in review? I see it on other blogs. Lets see, when 2010 began, my mother was in the rehab facility (I feel so weird calling it that because it sounds like she has a drug problem). The year is ending with my mom in the same rehab facility. At least she was home for most of the year in between. What else? I’ve lost some weight, not sure exactly how much. A decent enough amount that I’m a couple or three sizes smaller. There was some other stuff in the middle there, oh, the summer was really hot, and then Christmas came and now its today.

Seriously though, one big change I did manage was actually using this blog. I think when I started out the 30 day meme there were like 14 entries total. Now I’m nearly at 100. Getting the laptop helped a lot. I will continue blogging, even if its about my usual nothing important. You should also be getting more pictures from me hopefully since I spent a pretty penny a new camera. Just need to work on learning all the technical stuff and becoming more proficient.

I’ve become a better knitter this year just from experience, and trying things I was afraid of before. I knit sweaters this year, dammit! Actual garments besides scarves! And hats. Quite a few hats. Next year I will venture into sock knitting. I swears! That will mostly be over on my knitting blog which I also started this year.

In 21 1/2 hours it will be 2011. The year my son graduates from high school. Because of that, this year has been on my mind for a while. My only expectation being seeing my baby all grown up. He’ll be 18 in a few weeks (which means I’ll be 36 a week later, blah). I guess I really expected myself to be in a different place than I am, but so goes life. In the new year I’ll be losing more weight and I’ll get into better shape. I’ll plant a garden and take better care of it than I did this year. Or, I won’t. I’ll fall victim to the heat again. I think really, for now, and next year, I’ll just enjoy the moments. Like this one.


I feel the need to just spit words out through my fingers. Some sort of babbling catharsis. Like having someone to tell about your day, your misadventures, your sorrows, your smiles. That’s what you’re here for.

I’ve been cruising all the usual internet hot spots and completely ignoring my knitting tonight, which is not going to help me finish this project before 2011 strikes, which is my goal. I’ll still have one project on needles at the end of the year, unless I frog the cardigan I started, which now that I mention it, might not be a bad idea, because when I started it I was a size or two larger. Frogging that much would be painful, though, but possibly necessary. Oh, but then I still have that shawl on needles. Its not bothering me though because its hidden in a drawer.

I got back to the gym today. I just did cardio, but it felt good to be there doing it. The gym is still pretty calm, too. The new years resolution squad hasn’t started to pack in yet. I don’t know exactly how busy it will be then. Can’t possibly be too busy to find a machine, can it?

I reached out to an old friend last night. I’ve known him for something like 14 years. We’d be close for a while, then kind of meander off to other things, but eventually we’d find each other again, and things would always fall back in place almost like we’d never been apart. He’s a steady guy, no big changes in his behavior or interests. Always very calm and chill, even if he is a bit of a weirdo nerd. I love those things about him because its like he balances me out in ways. I’m a scatterbrained mess all over the place with what I’m into at a given moment, and emotionally, my god. He’s steady and straight and has dealt with a lot of mood swing and emotion from me, and has still cared enough to make sure I got home at the end of the night. I’ve wanted to kick me to the curb a lot, but he never has.

Anyway, he lives out at the coast now so I don’t see him, haven’t seen him in ages. We stay in touch through facebook, but lately I’ve been thinking about him and wanting to see him, to have that connection again. Besides, I always kind of felt like in a way I belonged with him, because of the way we fall so into place. I can’t totally explain that, its just a feeling I’ve had for a long time. So I contacted him last night with a sort of disjointed message, and he contacted me back. I guess I’ve just relied on him to not change and things to stay the same-like it was the one constant in my life!-but I get the feeling things are different now. Maybe he’s changed and grown and I haven’t kept up because I’m a lousy friend. I should have done a better job staying in touch with him and making more of an effort to see him (he works in town).

Its a lost opportunity? Definitely a lost love and big part of me if we can’t reconnect. My heart is broken because I’m feeling so lost. The one person I was sure of as always there has moved on. It really sucks, but its just as much my fault, if not more so.

Yeah, that’s what I’ve really wanted to hash out all day. I hate this heavy feeling.


in a bad shape

I went to the gym today to work out with the trainer. I went before Christmas, but I’ve missed a lot with my parents being in the hospital and all that. I’ve just been neglecting going because it takes up time I didn’t feel like I had. I found out how much missing the gym can hurt when you were just starting to get into better shape. I was slow, weak, and sloppy. I only did 15 minutes on the elliptical, and I know my chest and abs are going to hate me tomorrow. I’ve really got to start going again. I was really starting to feel good for a bit, there, when I was going every day. It shouldn’t take me too long to get back into feeling good about it. I just need to go habitually for it to happen. Get those endorphins kicking again!

I’ve been sleeping a lot lately. I think its somewhat making up for the lack of really restful sleep I didn’t get there for a while. I’ve also had this nasty headache all day. I’m wondering if I’m getting headaches from taking too much headache medicine. That would really suck. I do turn to excedrine rather quickly when my head starts to hurt, so I suppose its possible. It hasn’t helped today.

I haven’t decided whether I want to make a new years resolution or not. I suppose I should decide soon. I’m kinda eh on the whole new years resolution thing anyway. I mean, what about a new calendar says you should change? Resolutions can be made any time if you really want to make one, so what’s so special about new years resolutions? Plus, the stigma around them alone generally means they’ll get broken. They were meant to be. Plus, people always make difficult resolutions, like weight loss and exercise? Why not make a fun resolution like “I will eat at least one cookie every day?” That all being said, I’m sure I’ll come up with a resolution.

What about you? Do you have a resolution you’d like to share with me? (Yes I’m begging for comments!)

too much sleep

I slept hardcore. Really seriously hardcore. For a long time. Apparently I needed it. I even slept through a power outage, which is something that would normally wake me (I don’t know why). Sadly though, when the power came back on, the motor in my ceiling fan refused to turn the blades anymore, so I will soon be shopping for a new fan. I’m so used to having it on that its weird to have it be still. Also sadly, I slept so much I’m not tired now.

My cat was staring at me and I got the hiccups. Is there a correlation there? If so, damn cat.

I’m usually ready to swing into Christmas mode right about now, but I’m totally not. I’ve been in a moody mood instead. I was trying to figure out what’s making me feel this way, and I think, nine albums in, I’ve figured out the problem. While doing my iTunes A-Z, listening to Diana Krall. I have ten of her albums. I love the music, but I think it high doses, it puts me in a moody mood. I’m on the last one, now. I think I can finish it and preserve my sanity. The end is so close! I hope this isn’t going to effect the way I listen to music now, though. I’m really trying hard to get through my iTunes library, but for some reason it keeps growing, like I keep downloading music or something.

Tomorrow, while the weather is nice, we’ll be putting up outdoor lights. This means I will be crawling on the roof, which is not really amongst my favorite things. The cooler temperatures should lift my spirits, though, and maybe put me in more of a holiday mood. If that doesn’t. Hopefully putting the lights on the tree will. Or maybe I just need time?